


Ya Ever Just- Lose All Your Memories?

by dystopigeon



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Like, Memory Loss, Parental Roy, Really dark, and I'm trying out double spacing in dialogue just so its easier to read, definitely, idk - Freeform, if all goes well, im just a really crappy storyteller at times, or something like that, parental roy?, starts off rather silly but its gonna get dark, what even am I doing with my life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 07:48:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16677526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dystopigeon/pseuds/dystopigeon
Summary: Edward Elric wakes up in a hospital. He's been here before but he doesn't remember. In fact, he doesn't remember anything.What he also doesn't know is that he's been missing for a month. Whatever happened in that short amount of time has changed him completely.





	1. Awakening

Chapter 1

White. Everything was white. So white that one would flinch at first, the blinding and bright surroundings encased everything, and in the center of it all stood a figure with one flesh arm and leg. They smiled with large, unnerving teeth, and behind a door opened, before swallowing up everything.

He was soon ripped from this dream, sitting up quickly with a gasp. Golden eyes swung around the room of white, but now he was no longer alone. A bed sat under him, a warm brown bedside table held a glass of water, and a window revealed a sunny day outside. And of course, right across from his bed, sitting there, was a suit of armor. Wait, what was a suit of armor doing in a hospital?

“Ed! You’re finally awake!” The suit of armor suddenly moved, and the boy nearly jumped clean off his bed. Was someone inside of there?!

The armored person stopped. “Hey, are you feeling alright, brother?” The slightly worried voice was rather young for the size of the armor it was held in. Wait, brother?

The boy soon realized that he had jumped up, and was now standing on top of the bed. He slowly sat back down, carefully eyeing the armor. 

He finally decided to test his voice, unsure of if he even had the ability to speak. “Uhhh,” He began, now knowing for sure that he could speak “w-who are you?” He asked, not really knowing what to say to the suit of armor. How do you do? Nice weather? 

“What are you talking about, brother? It’s Al?” The suit of armor- er, Al’s voice was rather worried. “Don’t joke around like that, Ed”

The boy was about to ask who Ed was when the door opened. He jumped behind his bed as a man in a blue uniform came in. He had coal black hair and equally black eyes. 

“Ah, Fullmetal, well clearly your up and at em, so the doctor had nothing to worry over.” The man said in a calm voice.

“Fullmetal?” He turned to glance at Al “Is that your code name or something? Well, I guess it makes sense considering the armor you’re wearing..”

Al made a small gasp, and the man who had just walked in’s face instantly turned from the slightly irritated calmness to slight confusion, he raised an eyebrow, looking to Al.

 

“Brother?” Al asked quietly.

The black-haired man turned his attention back to the boy, walking over to the side of the bed opposite to where the boy was sitting. “Okay, enough messing around, pipsqueak! You’ve already caused enough worry from that fall!” His voice was raised and firm, and a piece of the boy wanted to retort back at him, but the pure confusion he felt was overbearing, and he simply cowered as the man spoke.

The man paused, looking over the boy for a moment. “Oh…” His voice was quiet, almost impossible to hear. Did the boy do something wrong?

The door opened, and a woman with blond hair tied up to stay out of the way waked in. 

“Sir,” She started “If you had stopped long enough to talk to the doctors you’d know that they suspect memory loss. I know you care about the Elrics, but please do refrain from being so hasty.” 

She paused as she looked at the boy. She simply said “Hello, Ed.”

So he was Ed?

The man groaned. “First of all, I do not care about the Elrics,” The woman raised an eyebrow at this statement “But one of them happens to be my subordinate.”

He walked back over to the woman. “Second of all, I guessed as much. He didn’t even so much as glare when I called him pipsqueak.”

The boy, now able to call himself Ed, looked between the two. Should he… say something? 

“Um, you two, w-what am I supposed to call you?” He asked meekly

The woman looked over at him. Ed decided that he liked her. Despite her very rigid demeanor, she was clearly a kind person. 

“Just call me Lieutenant Hawkeye.” She said with a smile

“Roy Mustang.” The man said simply. Ed decided that this Roy person irked him.

“A-and I am Ed, right?” Ed asked. Hopefully he didn’t actually steal someone else’s name. He liked it.

“Indeed.” Hawkeye said with a small smile “Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist.”

“Full...metal? Wouldn’t that name work better for him?” He pointed to Al, who was now standing by the bed. He didn’t even know where to start asking about the Alchemist part.

“No, no, I’m not a state alchemist.” Al chuckled. “I think it was just the Fuhrer’s way of messing with you.”

“Whats a Fuhrer?”

“Oh… right.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ed had only now realized that his arm was made of metal. His leg too. While Hawkeye and Roy were talking with the doctor, which his appearance had yet again caused Ed to cower behind the hospital bed, he started investigating it. What exactly was this?  
Al drew his attention away from the conversation between the adults to see that he was investigating the metallic limbs.

“Oh, that’s your automail.”

“Automail… Does everyone have automail?”

“No, its just because you lost an arm and a leg.”

“How did I do that?”

Al paused for a moment, like he was debating whether or not to tell Ed.

“Well-”

“You lost them in the Eastern Conflict.” Roy said, turning his attention back to the two boys.

Al paused, as if he were about to say something else, before nodding. “Yeah, the eastern conflict…”

Ed decided to save any questions about the eastern conflict for later. Something told him that he should confront the big problem.

“So… Hawkeye said something about memory loss?” He said, unsure of how to actually word what he wanted to ask.

“Yeah, if you don’t remember any of us, then you definitely have lost some memory.” Al said solemly. It must be hard for him, having his brother’s memories of him stripped.

“What exactly happened?” Ed asked

The room grew silent. The conversation between adults stopped abruptly, and Ed could tell that something was wrong from the fact that even Hawkeye had an uneasy look on her face. They all knew something judging by the looks on their face.

“Thats…” Al started

“It’s rather difficult to explain.” Roy cut in once again. Al looked at him as he spoke. “It’d be for the best if you focused on figuring out who you are for now, Fullmetal.

Ed opened his mouth as he was about to make a retort, but something urged him to stay quiet.

“Right… So about who I am,” Ed began, surprisingly being the one to change the subject. “What is an alchemist?”

There was a collective sigh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roy let out a sigh as he glanced over at Fullmetal. Frankly, he had expected something like this to happen eventually to the boy, considering the name he had made for himself over the years, but to this extent? 

He watched as Alphonse started explaining the basics of alchemy to the pipsqueak, before motioning for Hawkeye and the doctor to follow him outside the room.   
Once they were out, he closed the door behind them. 

“Right, lets get serious.” He began “What exactly is going on here, doctor?”

“Well, he’s clearly experiencing some memory loss. How much, I’m not sure. It seems that he doesn’t remember anything based on what we’ve seen, but we won’t know if it’s really amnesia until we run some tests.”

Roy’s blood turned cold for a moment at the mention of amnesia. “Are you really suggesting that he’s lost all his memory? How is that even possible?” 

“Well, we’re pretty sure it’s due to trauma.”

“Trauma?” 

“Well, you should know. After all, you were the one who found the kid on that day.” The doctor sighed. “I’m sure we’ll know a little more once your investigations team finishes up their evaluation of the scene.”

Roy blinked. He had known Fullmetal for a long time, and he knew that the kid had been through a lot. Hell, he’d even gone toe to toe with a serial killer, and not once had Roy even imagined that a little over a month missing could end up with the kid turning out an amnesiac. Things had obviously happened in that month… Roy almost didn’t want to think back to then.


	2. A Glance Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So one common question is probably being asked; what happened?  
> Roy, Riza, and Al reflect on the events that took place before the month long disappearance of Edward Elric.

It had all started when Alphonse came rushing into the Colonel’s office, his voice in a panic. The other soldiers in the office stood up as he came in.

“Colonel Mustang! I need your help!” The younger Elric had cried out desperately.

Mustang looked up as he came in. “What’s wrong? Did Fullmetal get himself in a fist fight with the librarian again?” he asked calmly. This wouldn’t be the first time that it has happened.

Alphonse shook his head quickly. “No, this is serious! He’s been taken!”

“Taken?” Havoc asked. “By who?”

“I-I don’t know..” Al said rather discouragedly. “We were just out going to the library, but then there were some people and- and- I couldn’t keep up with their car and they got away..”

“Calm down, Elric.” Mustang said firmly. “Where were you when this happened?” 

“We were by the marketplace. There was a new meat stand and Ed had gone to check it out..”

Mustang stood up, grabbing his gloves from his desk.

“Colonel, what are you intending to do?” Hawkeye asked, walking closer to the group. 

“I’m going to see the scene for myself.” He paused for a moment. “Fury, contact the investigations department and get some people down there too.” 

“Sir!” Fury replied, nodding. Mustang could see the obvious unease in his eyes. In fact, most of his men shared the same look, as they could only wonder what had happened and hope that Fullmetal was okay, wherever he may have ended up. Mustang wouldn’t admit the fact that he was worried too. This kid always got himself in trouble, and if he played his cards right, this wouldn’t last long. After all, it was Fullmetal they were talking about. He once took out an entire group on a train that had hijacked it with no civilian casualties. That kid would be arguing and fighting the whole way. In fact, Fullmetal would most likely get himself out of the situation. He had nothing to worry about…  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Colonel Mustang..” Alphonse’s voice tore Roy away from his thoughts. He looked at the suit of armor.

“What is it, Elric?”

“Why did you lie to Ed? About his arm and leg, that is..” Alphonse asked. Roy was about to say something when he was once again reminded that the younger Elric was only 14. Of course he’d be uneasy about the fact of lying to his brother.

“You saw the state he was in.” Roy finally said. “He’s lost his memory for some god forsaken reason.. Adding on the fact that he’s been missing for a month, or the fact that he committed a taboo that could very well get him court martialed isn’t exactly a good idea.”

“Even so, eventually he’s going to find out that we lied to him-” Alphonse started, before Roy cut in

 

“He won’t, as long as we play our cards right. If he gets his memory back, sure, but until then, nobody needs to know.” Roy could tell that Alphonse had flinched on the word If. In fact, even Roy was a little uneasy about that. What would happen if the kid didn’t recover?

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Colonel..” Alphonse said a little quietly

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that this doesn’t go up in flames.” The flame alchemist replied. “Just focus on helping your brother adjust. I’m sure he’ll get his memory back. Who knows, maybe we can speed the process up if you reintroduce him to alchemy.”

Though Alphonse was made of metal, Roy could tell that he had lit up at the idea. “Right, I’ll do my best, then.” The Elric said, before turning to return to the room. “Oh, and thank you. For everything.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Seriously.

Don’t mention it.. I wasn’t able to help him before this could happen…

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“There, this is the place.” Al said from the back of the car. Riza put the brakes on the car, easing it to a stop. She shifted the vehicle into park, before stepping out. She heard her superior and the Elric brother step out of the car too as she waited for Roy to make his way around to the scene of the kidnapping. As he made his way over, she started walking in line behind him, as she always did. As Roy stopped just at the abandoned meat stand, Riza could see that there was clearly a struggle. She sighed a little, feeling a little relief at the fact that Edward had at least put up a fight. This meant that he wasn’t going willingly, and that would hopefully slow them down. What surprised her, though, was the fact that there didn’t seem to be any transmutations that took place there. Maybe the conflict was so fast that Edward hadn’t had enough time to do so… She glanced at Alphonse. It was clear that he was probably taking this hard. She couldn’t help but feel sympathy for the boy, and she silently promised that they’d find Ed soon.

After a bit of looking over the meat stand, Roy finally turned to look at Ed’s brother.

“What happened here, Elric?”

What had happened, indeed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lets take a detour, Al.” Ed stated, walking alongside Al. “I kinda wanna check out what they’ve got.”

Al nodded “Okay! We need to take a break anyways.”

The two turned at the next street. Al could see the lines of stands just a little in the distance. Once they had neared the marketplace, Ed started looking around. “I guess we should buy something to eat while we’re at the library.” he said, walking between the stands to get a good look at the things being sold. Al absentmindedly started walking around and looking to see if there were any foods that he should add to the list of things that he needed to eat when he got his body back. Suddenly, he bumped into it. 

“Hey, watch it you big oaf!” A man said

“Oh, I- uh-”

“Lay off, old man!” Edwards voice interrupted any apology that Al had tried to get out. “You better have a fucking stellar apology thought up for my brother, or else.” 

“Or else what, pipsqueak?” The man growled

Edward’s eye twitched. “You know what, the apology can wait. I’ll bust your teeth in and then force you to spit it out!!” He said, clenching his fist. Al looked around and realized that people were watching.

“Brother, lets not-”

“Like you could even throw a fist, shrimp!” Al could identify by now that the man was drunk by the way he slurred on his words. 

Of course, this meant nothing to Edward Elric. He was about to throw a punch when Al caught his arm. “Brother, no.” 

“This guy thinks he can throw around insults without consequence.” Ed growled “I’m just saving him the pain of running into the wrong guy by teaching him a lesson now.”

Al sighed. “Brother, please!”

Ed stared up at his brother, obviously thinking of millions of different arguments to make, but finally just sighed. “Fine.” the old man scrutinized Ed from behind him, and though it was obvious he was angry, Ed kept walking. “I’m hungry, anyways, let’s find somewhere to eat.” 

Al let out a sigh of relief. Ed would probably be charged with assault more times than once if it weren’t for him, that was for sure. He sometimes wished that his brother would mellow down a bit.

What would a more mellow Ed even be like? Timid? Al just couldn’t imagine it.

Ed stopped, glancing over at a meat stand.

The clerk called to him “Hey, you’re the Fullmetal Alchemist! C’mere, let me give the Hero of The People a free sample.” 

Ed almost kept walking, but he shrugged. “Wait here, Al, I’ll be right back.” He said, walking over to the stand.

Al stood there, looking around at the other stands. There were so many people here. He at least didn’t have to worry about losing his brother in a crowd. All he’d have to do is wait for someone to call him short and-

Al turned quickly at the sound of crashing. Ed held the clerk by the shirt, holding his fist up threateningly. The meat that he was given was discarded on the ground and half eaten.

“Oh great...:” Al said to himself, running over to stop his brother. He stopped abruptly as he overheard. 

“WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THIS?!” Ed shouted, and Al soon noticed that his legs were shaking. In fact, his eyes drooped slightly as if he were suddenly drowsy, and his grip soon dropped the man as he just struggled to stand. What happened to him?  
“Brother!” Al yelled, running over. Just as he did, he heard a rumbling behind him. The sound of it came closer and closer, and Al saw the headlights of a truck just as he turned to investigate. 

With a crash, Al was in a stand, well, it was a remnant of a stand, now just splintered wood and scattered fruits and vegetables. Miraculously, though, Al’s head stayed on. He got up quickly, watching as the truck drove off. He saw a bit of red and blond through the window and wasted no time to start running after it. He’d come fix the stand once he got his brother back. 

The pursuit lasted for about ten blocks, until suddenly the car was gone. Al doubled back again and again, trying to catch a glimpse of it, but soon enough he knew that it was gone. Al stood there for a second. Why did this happen? How did this happen? Who were those people? Where were they taking Ed? What should he do? What should he do?! 

The Colonel

He had to find the Colonel and ask for help. It was the only way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I probably should have waited till later to upload this chapter but h e y


	3. Scattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can a month really change someone so much?!

Pain. 

That was all he could feel. Raw, unbearable pain. He wanted to scream but no noise came. The noise refused to comfort him, lest he feel more pain as a result of it. 

Eyes stared down at him, cold and merciless. 

"You still clench up." The dark, deep voice whispered. "You aren't trying hard enough."

The pain came again.

And everything went dark.

Ed shot up quickly, looking around wildly and wearily. He could feel a cold sweat, he could hear his heart pounding in his chest, he could taste blood.

And then it was gone. 

Ed didn't recall what woke him into such a terrified state. He looked around the room again, expecting to find something, but was reminded that he was alone. Well, there was Al, sitting across the room from him, but he assumed that he was asleep. After all, a glance at the clock reminded him that it was about 2 in the morning.

Ed sighed, glancing over to his bedside table. A glass of water sat there. He hesitated for a moment as he reached for it, as if something urged him to wait. But what for?

"Brother?" A voice asked from across the room. Ed jumped as he heard the voice, falling off the bed.

"Brother! Are you alright? Why are you up so late?" Al asked worriedly, rushing over.

Ed groaned, rubbing his head. He looked up at Al for a moment, before smiling weakly.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I just got up to get some water." He said softly. 

"Are you sure?" Al questioned "you didn't hit your head, did you?"

Edward shook his head. Something urged him to stay quiet, as invisible hands gripped him by his throat.

"I'm fine, I just gotta go back to sleep." He finally said hoarsely, through the hands.

"Alright, but remember, if something's wrong, you need to tell me." Al replied wearily.

"I will." Ed lied.

He climbed back into his bed, pulling the sheets loosely over himself. He glanced over to Al, who went to sit across the room.

"Are you uncomfortable?" Ed asked

"Huh?"

"Well, you don't have anywhere to sleep, and you're in that armor all the time."

"Ah, well..." Al paused, obviously thinking. "...it’s not that bad in here. Besides, I feel better about being here to keep an eye on you."

"Oh."

Ed thought nothing more of this, most likely too tired to question it. After all, he knew nothing, so why even question it? A stubborn side of him told him to do it anyways, but he shoved that aside, laying back in the bed and staring up at the ceiling. He eventually drifted off into a half-conscious sort of sleep 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Roy opened the door, he was surprised to see Fullmetal jump off the bed yet again. This seemed to be a theme whenever someone entered the hospital room. Just what made him so jumpy?

“Fullmetal,” He started, addressing the kid. “As of today you’re being released from the hospital.” He pulled out some paperwork from under his arm. “You’re being asked to stay in central though, at least until we can get a grasp on the situation at hand.”

Fullmetal looked almost confused. Roy sighed, remembering that the kid probably didn’t even know what Central was. He couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy at the fact that the hospital was releasing him so early. They hadn’t even caught the people behind his kidnapping yet. 

“Oh, right.. Do I have somewhere to stay?” The young alchemist asked 

“We can get you a room at the hotel. Winry is staying there, you can probably go say hi to her before she leaves.”

“Win...ry…?”

Right, the pipsqueak didn’t even know her

“She’s a childhood friend and your mechanic. She fixed up your arm and leg while you were out of it a couple days ago.” 

“Ah..”

Roy dropped a suitcase at the end of the bed. “Here’s some clothes. Get dressed and meet us in the waiting room.” He then stepped out of the room briskly, closing the door behind him without another word.

He sighed as he walked down the corridor. This kid was gonna give him grey hairs, he swore.

Taking a turn, he made his way to the waiting room, spotting lieutenant Hawkeye sitting in a seat. He took the seat next to her and stared up at the clock.

About 10 minutes later, he finally saw the short blond make his way into the waiting room, his younger brother walking behind him. He definitely did not look like the Edward Elric that Roy knew. 

First of all, his signature braid was nowhere to be found and he let his hair run freely down his shoulders. 

Secondly, he wore a simple button up shirt and jeans, which Fullmetal would rather die than be seen in.

Lastly, it was the look on his face, in his eyes. They were confused, and worried, and dulled, as if he had been worn down by whatever horrors he had gone through in the month that he was missing. Of course, the kid didn’t remember what had happened, but whatever he did see stuck with him.

Roy let out the third sigh for the day. 

Fullmetal was really gone, wasn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty short chapter, sorry! Thank you for reading, regardless! I hope this is progressing relatively nicely, and hopefully I can get another chapter in soon!


	4. weird.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite all that has happened, nobody really knows what happened to Edward Elric. Perhaps a visit to the Fullmetal Alchemist's mechanic can trigger some memories from the amnesiac?

A man sat in his desk in an office, leaning in his chair. Maes Hughes sighed as he picked up a file, pulling out a paper and looking it over for what looked like the hundredth time. He ran through the details again.

Edward Elric the Fullmetal Alchemist was spotted, after being reported missing for 35 days, heading down main street. When military police arrived he was collapsed on the ground not even 5 feet from where the sighting was reported, passed out in a pool of his own blood. 

His injuries included countless lacerations, burns, and broken bones. His wounds were, oddly enough, cleaned, but not covered. There were injection marks in various places around his body, and an IV tube still attached to his arm. 

His automail was also damaged. His arm’s wires that connected his nerves were all cut, aside from one that let him move his pinkie. His automail leg met the same fate, but a transmutation circle was etched into the back of it and the knee joint was very crudely transmuted together. 

His watch is still missing.

Maes set the file down. He knew the contents all too well. After all, he was the one who wrote it up. But no matter how many times he looked the file over, was he brought any closer to any of his answers. In fact, he only seemed to get more and more questions the more he looked at the situation.

If only he could get a look at where the kid had come from…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edward glanced up and down the street as cars went by. He had felt quite foolish when he couldn’t quite figure out the word for them, but Al quickly reminded him that the big rolling machines were, in fact, cars. How could he have forgotten something so silly?

Finally, a car came to a stop in front of where he stood, and Roy walked up to it, getting in on the front passenger door. Al quickly helped Ed in the back, before getting in on the other side. Ed looked around the vehicle momentarily, before sitting back in his seat, some sort of nervous impulse telling him that he wasn’t safe. He tried his best to push it aside, reminding himself that Roy, Al, and Hawkeye, who was driving the car, were all good people. Well, Roy appeared to be a irritating person of sorts, but he still (probably) had good intentions.

Then the car started driving.

The ride was fairly silent, until Ed finally decided to speak. 

“So, uhh… What’s this Winry person like?” He asked, turning his attention to Al

“Oh, she’s really nice! Well, you and her tend to butt heads, but it’s all in good fun. She really likes machines and automail.” Al said, Ed was sure that if he could see his brother’s face, it would be smiling.

“Did she fix up your armor too?” Ed asked

“Oh, no, you actually b- er, you helped me with it.” 

“Why don’t you ever take it off?”

Al was about to say something, but paused, and looked at Roy, who returned some sort of look that Ed couldn’t read. After a moment of silence, he turned back and said “...It’s a hobby...”

Weird hobby, but maybe that was just Ed. After all, what did he know?

“Doesn’t it get hot in there?” Before Al could answer, Ed started asking a heap more questions “Are you really that tall? If you took it off would you be super fast and strong? Are you sure that you’re the younger brother and I’m the older one??”

Al was very nervously stuttering out an answer when Roy looked back at them. “Hey, Fullmetal, we’re here.” 

Ed stopped, looking out the window at an unfamiliar building. He wondered to himself just how big the world was. He fiddled with the door handle for a moment, realizing that he had no idea how it worked, before finally getting himself out of the stuffy car and onto the sidewalk. What he hadn’t noticed was that the car hadn’t stopped entirely and almost caused him to fall onto his face.

“Eager to get out of the car or what?” Mustang called from inside the car. Ed responded with a weak glare in his direction. Oddly enough, it felt almost natural, and Roy smiled. No, not a shit eating grin, close to one, but it seemed oddly sincere. Though almost as soon as Ed noticed it, it was gone. Weird.

It took a moment for the others to get out of the car, but by then Ed had already made his way to the entrance of the building. Al quickly caught up to him as he reached for the door, but Ed jumped back as it opened and a man walked out. The man glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. Ed made quick note of his facial features, especially the facial hair that grew on him.

Ed quickly shuffled behind Al as the man walked by.

“Is something wrong, brother?” Al asked, a slightly concerned tone to his voice. 

As the man left, Ed released a breath that he hadn’t realized he had held. “No, I just was surprised, is all.” He reached for the door again, opening it up, and stepping inside.

He heard a sigh from Roy somewhere behind him.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Winry finished packing all her things, closing up her suitcase. She let out a sigh as she set her suitcase on the bed. She probably should have been relieved when she had heard that they had finally found Edward, but after hearing about his injuries, she was just as worried as before. So worried that she couldn’t even be angry about the state of his automail when she showed up.   
In the end, she didn’t even get a chance to see him awake, but she figured that that was for the best. After all, she probably would have given away how worried she was pretty easily. 

How long has she been in central waiting for the news of him waking up to reach her? She figured about two and a half months.

Well, now that she knew that he had finally woken up, it was probably time for her to come home. Granny was waiting for her return, after all. Winry sat down on her bed next to the suitcase, sighing. As much as she wanted to go see him and make sure that he was okay, she was hesitant. Well, he probably didn’t even want to see her anyways.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts, and she looked up.

She opened the door to see Colonel Mustang. 

“Oh, Colonel. Don’t tell me Edward somehow messed up his automail already.” 

 

“No, actually, we decided to pay you a visit before you left for Resemboole.” The colonel paused for a moment, glancing back into the hall.

“Ed and Al are here?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, well come in.” Winry moved away from the doorway, letting the colonel walk through, followed by Lieutenant Hawkeye, Al, and finally Ed.

When they had all entered, Winry turned to Ed. “Granny and I have been worried sick, where were you?” She said in an irritated tone- the only tone she knew she’d be able to avoid sounding too worried with.

“Uhh... “ Ed started, glancing around the room for a second, an odd look in his eyes. “..The hospital?” 

“Don’t play dumb with me, Ed, I know you were at the hospital, but before that.” 

Mustang quickly cut in. “Right, I should mention before there’s too much confusion. Fullmetal is suffering from some memory loss.”

“Memory loss?” Winry echoed, disbelief in her voice

“Yes, unfortunately.”

“How much did he lose?”

“Everything.”

“Everything?” Winry looked at Ed, and now recognized the confused look in his eyes. “Do you remember me, Ed?” 

Edward looked away. “No…” 

“Oh.”

Could a month spent missing and almost three months in a coma really do this much damage?

Was this even fair?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was really delayed, sorry about that! Thank you for reading this far!!


	5. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a rather pleasant meeting with Winry, things begin to take a turn for the worse.

The room soon fell silent. Ed glanced around quietly, and saw an equally unsure look on everyone’s faces (well, minus Al’s, but it was obvious he felt the same way.) He turned to look at Winry, who sat on her bed, staring down at her legs. Was he supposed to comfort her? What would he even say? He barely knew her… Well, that was a lie, but he had no memory of her. What was it that Al said about her? The two of them always butt heads? 

Yeah, he should do something like that. He tried his best to think of anything that the real Ed would say, though his final product was rather lackluster.

“Oh, come on, it’s no use being upset about this. his is most likely my own fault (probably) and it’s not like this is the first time I’ve gotten myself into a situation like that (I think).” Ed said, fighting the grip that clenched around his neck.

“Dummy, how am I not supposed to feel upset about this? You don’t even remember who I am!” Winry glared at him. Oh no, did he make things worse? No, he had to say something back.

“Which is why we need to figure out how to fix this.” he said rather weakly. The grip around his neck tightened for a moment.

“Is there even a way?”

Ed almost paused for a moment. He had to admit that he didn’t even believe his own words. 

“I don’t know,” Ed started, sighing. “But even if there isn’t, I’ll make one myself. I don’t care if I have to somehow use alchemy to put my memories back, but I want to remember you. I want to remember everything.” Though his voice was filled with sincerity, Ed couldn’t help but feel distant from his own words. He barely knew anything, how could he possibly manage to put it all back together? How could he even be sure that he was the Ed that everybody wanted so bad to return? What if he was lying to everyone and he didn’t even know it?

Despite any of Ed’s own doubts, he seemed to have comforted Winry a little. Her shoulders visibly relaxed, and she closed her eyes for a moment.

“Just promise you won’t make everyone worry again.” she said finally, releasing a sigh.

“I promise.” Ed answered, though he internally wondered if that was actually something he should be promising. After all, there was really no telling what would happen, and judging by what he had heard of real Ed, he was bound to run into trouble.  
But then again, he wasn’t the same person. Maybe he would be fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Riza glanced out the window of the car at the two brothers as they spoke to Winry. 

“Colonel.” She looked to Mustang for a moment

“Yes, Lieutenant?”

“You saw it too, right?”

“When he ran into that man? Yeah, he looked like he was in quite a panic.”

“Do you think…”

“No, it couldn’t have been him, but it’s obvious that Ed remembers something about that month. There’s no telling whether he will remember anything before that, but if we can catch the people who did this, maybe we can figure out just what happened.”

 

Riza nodded, but something still didn’t feel right about it.

“If he remembers what happened then why won’t he tell us?”

The colonel sighed.

“I don’t know… It might be that whatever happened was so traumatic that he’s just been involuntarily suppressing the memories.” 

He paused for a moment, before adding “I guess we could always do this the old fashioned way and force the memories out.” He was, of course, referring to the methods used to get information out of hostiles in Ishval. 

“Let’s not.”

“Yeah..”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well, I guess I’ll see you later.” Ed said to Winry.

“Just make sure you take care of your automail. I don’t care if you’ve forgotten everything, you better remember not to bust my equipement.”

“Alright, I’ll be extra careful with it.” Ed wasn’t quite sure how someone could even bust a metal arm. 

“And please, try to come to Resemboole. It wouldn’t hurt you to come home occasionally.”

“Sure.” He wasn’t aware that he had a ‘home’.

“And stay out of trouble. If you end up dying I’m beating the death out of you just so I can kill you again.” 

Scary.

“I’ll make sure brother behaves, don’t worry.” Al piped in from beside Ed.

“Right, and since I know your memory is 20 times better than this blockhead, I’m gonna leave you with the instructions to maintaining Ed’s automail. Since his last ones were so badly damaged at the nerves I had to…”

At that point, Ed had zoned out, looking around at the crowds of people. 

They walked up and down the sidewalks, some entering buildings, some chatting with each other. They all seemed like they had someplace to go.

He turned his attention to the street.

A few cars raced down the street, kicking up gravel under their tires. Most went fast, but others were slower. Ed took extra notice to a black truck slowing down as it neared the Colonel’s car. He stopped, staring at it as a burning sensation ravaged his back. After a bit, it started speeding up a bit, taking a corner. Ed stared at the corner where it left for a moment, before something compelled him to walk in it’s direction.

“Brother?” Al asked, interrupting whatever Winry had to say.

Ed broke into a run.

“Brother what’s wrong?!” Al called to him.

Ed didn’t look back, quickly taking the corner and seeing the truck rounding the next corner. He picked up his pace, trying not to lose it. As he turned the corner he saw that the car had slowed, but as soon as he emerged it sped up again.

The car led him on for a while, before turning down an alley. Ed stopped a moment before following to catch his breath. When he turned the corner, though, the car was gone. He slowed to a walk, looking around. Why did this place seem familiar? He kept walking down the alley, looking around.

His eyes hit a reddish brown door and he froze. Ed’s golden eyes widened, and his breath hitched in his throat. Why did this door burn into his memories? Why did it fill him with despair? Why was he--

“Brother!” Ed could hear Al’s voice call from far away.

 

Good, Al was here. He could tell him what this place w-- 

That was when the burning sensation returned, and with it a moment of clarity came, fresh with the cold blooded fear that he felt. No one was allowed to find this place. They couldn’t see Ed here, they’d find it and then Ed would be punished again. He couldn’t let them find this!

Ed looked around for anywhere to hide. Maybe he could preform alchemy and hide behind a fake wall! 

He quickly clapped his hands together. Pressing them to the ground.

Nothing happened. 

He tried again.

Still, nothing.

Ed felt his anxiety rising as he could hear the footsteps of Al’s armor getting closer and closer. He couldn’t let Al find him!

In a last minute decision, Ed swung the door open, closing it behind him quickly before Al could round the corner. 

Ed waited for Al’s footsteps to run past the door, before releasing a breath. Good.

He then turned his attention back to the room he was in, and all that anxiety came straight back. 

Blood.

So much blood.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I really appreciate it! Hopefully I'll be able to upload new chapters soon!


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